Late Fall 2009      www.thedead-beat.com      Volume 10 Issue 4

 

Columns

Spotlight

Kenneth J. Doka

Mortuary Muse

Behind the Back Fence

 After Thoughts 

Dear Counselor       

Tips from the Back Room

Archives            

Chuckles

Funeral Home News

News Shorts

Odd Bits

Extras

Comments

Crypt-ic Commentary

Obituaries

As we Drive By

Amy's Gallery

On the Net

 

 

 

ODDS BITS

The Angel Lady

Stay Young, My Friend  

For Funeral Directors at Thanksgiving

Why Dogs Don’t Have To Live So Long

 

 

 

The Angel Lady
by Bob Lazzar-Atwood

She was called the Angel Lady for the ornaments she made,
She carved them out of scraps of fir and pine,
They echoed a belief she held from which she never strayed,
That angels are around us all the time.
She first received her calling with a heart consumed by grief,
The year her loving husband passed away,
She found that carving offered her a measure of relief
And it brought a sense of purpose to her day.
And then when Christmas came with all the memories it brings,
And clouds of sadness fell upon her heart,
She carved her husband's likeness with a pair of angel wings,
And magically the clouds began to part.
She fixed it with a piece of string and hung it on the tree,
He always loved the smell of fresh cut fir,
And when she sat beside the tree to carve a bit or read,
She felt his loving presence close to her.
When others saw the ornament, her neighbors and her friends,
They marveled at how lifelike it appeared,
They begged her to consider carving ornaments for them
Of loved ones they had lost throughout the years.
And so her mission started and her reputation spread,
As orders came from cities far and wide,
From people who were seeking some remembrance of their dead,
And comfort from the pain they felt inside.
The children were the hardest and it often made her weep,
To carve their childish features in the pine,
But late at night a voice would reassure her in her sleep
That angels were around them all the time.
And one day she received a special letter in her box
From a boy whose family dog had passed away,
She thought about it briefly and then asked herself "why not?"
And she started carving pets that very day.
For twenty years she carved until her hands were old and tired
And all her youthful energy was gone,
But her belief in angels always made her feel inspired
And helped her find the strength to carry on.
And then one Christmas day a neighbor found her in her chair,
Her heart no longer sounding its commands,
With shavings all around her, in her clothing and her hair,
Her carving blade still nestled in her hand.
And as the medics came and slowly wheeled her to the door,
Her grieving friends were too distraught to see,
The photograph that rested right beside her on the floor
Or the newest little angel on the tree.
It hung there by her husbands like two birds upon a limb,
A woman carved in wood still wet with stain,
Her head was turned and she was smiling lovingly at him,
And he was looking back at her the same.
Like all the other angels she had carved throughout her days,
The image was so real it chilled the spine,
And engraved upon the bottom was this very simple phrase,
"Angels are around us all the time,"

Stay Young, My Friend

On one woman’s tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:

“Tried everything twice.  Loved it both times!”

 

2. Keep only cheerful friends.  The grouches pull you down.

(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning; 

learn more about the computer, crafts,  gardening, whatever..  

Never let the brain get idle.  “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”  

And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s

 

4. Enjoy the simple things.

 

5. Laugh often, long and loud.  

Laugh until you gasp for breath.  

And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

 

6.  The tears happen:  

Endure, grieve and move on.  

The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.  

LIVE while you are alive.

 

7. Surround yourself with what you love:  

Whether it’s family, pets, music, plants, hobbies, whatever….  

Your home is your refuge.

 

8. Cherish your health:  

If it is good, preserve it.  If it is unstable, improve it.  

If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

 

9.  Don’t take guilt trips.  

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

 

10. Tell people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

 

11.  Forgive now those who made you cry.  

You might not get a second chance.

 

For Funeral Directors at Thanksgiving

 (Or Fill in the Holiday) 

Author Unknown

Dear Lord

We thank you for this day in which we may give thanks...and please, just this once, let me finish our Thanksgiving meal before the phone rings because these chances to enjoy food and fellowship together come around so rarely.

Not that I don’t want to go on a First Call on this Thanksgiving Day (Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, etc.), but dear God, I pray others can make it through this holiday without the loss of a loved one.

If the phone does ring, however, I will be truly thankful for the opportunity to be there—and to do what I’ve chosen to do—not merely as a job but as a calling.  You see, God, I think you selected me to be there for others, to help where few have the ability to help, to smooth the path and provide solace between the ending of one life and the continuing  lives of those left behind.

God, let me not forget to be thankful for every comfort I am able to provide a family left decimated by the loss of a mother, father, husband, wife, child, sister or brother.  Help me lift these people from the Valley of the Shadow into the light of hope while offering thanks and celebration for the life that was lived, even for a short time, on this Earth.

I know in my heart,  I stand among a select few who can serve my neighbors in these unique ways, so let me be at my best—even when I’m feeling my worst.  Give me the strength to be excellent in my skills, to have a servant’s heart and to meet each family’s needs with compassion, integrity and sincerity, no matter how much effort it requires.

On this day, I am also thankful for my co-workers, my family, my community—and especially for the men and women who, in the past and in the present, have worked so hard to make this profession what it is.  I am honored to stand with funeral directors and embalmers through the years who were able to put the needs of others before their own and others before self.  They have set a high standard, but God, give me the ability and the strength to set the bar even higher.

For all this, O God, I am thankful.

  Why Dogs Don’t Have To Live So Long

Being a veterinarian I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker.  The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa and their little six-year-old boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.  I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer.  I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they though it would be good for Shane to observe the procedure.  They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.  The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him.  Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.

Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.  The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion.  We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.  Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.”  Startled , we all turned to him.

What came out of his mouth next stunned me  I’d never heard a more comforting explanation.  He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life—like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”  The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”  Live Simply.  Love Generously.  Care Deeply.  Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

¨ When loved ones come home, always run to great them.

¨ Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

¨ Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

¨ Take naps.

¨ Stretch before rising.

¨ Run, romp and play daily.

¨ Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

¨ Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

¨ On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

¨ On hot days, drink lots of water and lie down under a shady tree.

¨ When you’re happy, dance around and wave your entire body.

¨ Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

¨ Be loyal.

¨ Never pretend to be something you’re not.

¨ If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

¨ When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

If you can’t eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.

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